Check Out My New Certificate of Virginity! The Boys Love It!
This is a joke? Right? RIGHT??? This fucking bullshit website actually offers “Certificates of Virginity.” Check out grandma on the right, looking so thrilled by her certified virgin status.
Instead of hanging their heads in shame, the Certified Virgin program actually pimps the idea of hanging a certificate on your wall, right next to your GED, proclaiming your proud virginhood!
From the website:
Whether you are a virgin, feel like a virgin, or want to be a virgin again, getting a virginity certificate is probably the easiest way to go. Show your friends you care,
and certify them as well. Getting a certificate is easy and won’t hurt your wallet.
Get this…you can even certify your friends! Hey Bob, guess what? You’re now a certified virgin! Yeah, you can thank me later.
On the plus side “part of all proceeds will be going to AIDS research” according to the website. The certificates are $1, and since “part of all” of that goes to AIDS research, I suppose you could pull a worse practical joke.